Wrecking Us Saving You Read online

  “I’m Elise, it’s so nice to meet you.” She offers her hand, and he takes it with a grin. “Is this your mom?”

  “Yes, Sarwah is my momma.” Mom falls to her knees, knowing in her heart what doesn’t need to be said. But Silas says it anyway. “And Chorwd’s my daddy.”

  Mom tweaks his belly. “You look exactly like your daddy at this age, it’s uncanny.”

  My dad staggers to my mom’s side, kneeling. “It’s good to meet you, Silas. We’re your daddy’s parents, your grandparents.”

  Silas glances at Sarah, who nods at him. “Hi.” He takes my dad’s hand, shaking it.

  One walks over with Harlyn in his arms, wrapping her in his free arm. “Hey, Sarah.”

  “One, it’s good to see you. I’m assuming she’s one of your nine. Tell me he’s kidding?” Sarah giggles, tickling One.

  “I had lost time to make up for after that other mess. But I have to say, you and little brother have the scoop of the century.” He smiles, hugging her again.

  Thayer watches from the chair in the far corner. Her lips pressed into a thin line. Sarah tilts her head, shuffling her feet. Thayer stands, slowly making her way over. She lays back, waiting for Mom and Dad to give Silas room.

  Thayer leans down to him. “Hi, Silas. I’m your Aunt Thayer, Chord’s sister. I was your momma’s other best friend when she was growing up.” Her eyes flood with tears, and Sarah gasps, falling against me.

  I wrap her in my arms. “Give her a minute, baby.”

  “She hates me,” Sarah whimpers.

  “No, not possible.” Thayer glances at Sarah, her face wet. She rises, coming over to us.

  “You owe me one helluva talk, sister. But first, you better hug me like you’ve missed me.” Thayer’s lips tremble with each word.

  Sarah can’t hold back, she throws her arms around Thayer and hugs her hard. I pull my hand free, quickly feeling a tug on it. I look down, Silas.

  “Is Momma okay?”

  I bend down, picking him up. He’s getting big, but I haven’t held him and I’m gonna make up for lost time. I hold him close as Thayer and Sarah hold each other. “She’s good, buddy. Are you hungry? Come on, Daddy will find you something.” I step around the girls, walking toward the kitchen.

  “Chord, what does he need?” Mom rounds the counter.

  Silas locks his hands around my neck. “I’m gonna hang back here with him. I think he’s a little freaked.”

  “Well, if he decides he’s hungry, the fridge is stocked, get him whatever he wants.” She pats his arm, and he peers at her.

  “I’ve never had a grandmother.” Mom’s eyes cut to mine, and I shake my head. Her eyes glisten, glancing at Sarah.

  “Love her heart, life’s been so cruel to her.” Mom rubs my back. “To you all three.”

  “We’re gonna be fine, aren’t we, buddy?” I kiss Silas on the head. “So what do you think you want to call my mom?”

  “What do you mean?” Silas pulls his brows low.

  “Grandma or grandmother?”

  “I like grandmother.” Mom smiles at him.

  “That’s perfect, your cousins call her that too.”

  “Momma said I have ten cousins.” His eyes wide, he stares at Mom.

  “You do, come with me and I’ll take you right over there to meet them.” Mom holds her hand out to him.

  “Can I go?” He peeks up at me, chewing his nail, just like his mom.

  “You sure can, they’re right over there. When you’re done, come back and I’ll fix you something to eat.” I set him down.

  “I will.” He takes Mom by the hand, and they slowly walk over to the others.

  I lean against the counter, watching Thayer and Sarah. Both still crying with their arms wrapped around each other. One wanders over to stand beside me, looking over the room.

  “How you doin’?”

  “Good. Shocked.” My chest tightens as I watch my mom, holding my son. “Beyond blessed. How did I ever get so lucky. I not only found the love of my life, but I did it twice. And though she has no clue, the extraordinary gift she fought to give me, I can never thank her enough for him.”

  “I have to admit, I sometimes wondered if once you found her, if it would be over. You know? She’d have moved on or maybe you’d fall in love. Standing here, seeing you together, the way she keeps an eye on the both of you. You watching them. It’s obvious you’re still in love.”

  “It’s impossible, is that what you’re about to say. To warn me, we’ve both changed and it may be ridiculous to try to work it out?”

  “Chord, just because couples get married, doesn’t mean they stop changing. We all do it, constantly; it’s life. With each new situation, we grow.” One pulls his hands free from his pockets.

  “I know that, I do. I understand it’s been six years and we’ve changed. And yet, we haven’t. Love doesn’t stop because people change. You grow apart when you change and love stops. If you love someone, you work through the changes.”

  “I’ll be damned.” One shakes his head. “You never cease to surprise me. You’re a helluva good man, and you deserve this, Chord. You worked hard to have your family. I’m damn proud to say you’re my brother.”

  “I just want them to be proud I’m her husband and his father.”

  “They already are but you keep thinkin’ that way, you won’t fail.” He hauls me into a bear hug. I’ve never been so emotional in my life.

  “Man, all these feels are fuckin’ killin’ me.” I rub my chest over my heart.

  “Yeah, the love of a good woman and a brood of kids will do that to you.” He laughs, elbowing me.

  “That explains why you’ve went all pansy on me.”

  He points in Lea’s direction. “You see that amazing woman over there?”

  “Yeah, I see her.”

  “She lets me have sex with her anytime I want. I’ll be her fuckin’ pansy any day.” He fake punches me when I chuckle.

  “I see your point,” I say as I stare at Sarah. “Maybe she’ll turn me into one.”

  “Only if you’re damn well lucky.” My big brother and I stand silently, watching our family.

  I stand in the kitchen observing Silas. He’s playing with his newfound cousins, One and Lea’s children. Six are older and three younger; you’d never know he was the odd man out. They’ve taken him under their wing.

  “Are you trying to number them instead of remembering their names.” I snicker when Chord nudges me.

  “How does she do it? She makes it look effortless. She moves from child to child, sometimes holding two and talking to one or the other way around. I’m wore out just watching her.”

  “Lea makes everything look easy, but she’ll be the first to tell you—she doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing, but she’s loving them as she does it.” Chord laughs. My heart hammers as I gaze at him.

  “I feel like I’m in a dream, this can’t be happening.” I step closer to him, needing to feel his warmth.

  “Surreal. I have no other words for the last few days.” He lays his arm on the counter behind me, and my pulse races. We keep doing this freakish dance of I want to give you time and space to throw me down and fuck me now.

  “Hey, y’all. I hate to interrupt, but I wanted Chord to know; your deliveries have been made, but I thought I’d give you a few days before setting up,” Lea says, smiling.

  “Shit, I completely forgot. That sounds good, thank you.” Chord’s brows knit.

  “What did you buy now, sweetheart?”

  “A house and some furniture.” His mouth curves into a smile.

  My jaw drops. “You what? When?”

  “A few months ago, I had One’s company build it. Lea and Torrie, a friend of ours, do interior design.” He fidgets. “We’ll work out a day this week.”

  “That works. I wanted you to know before you walked into the garage full of boxes. We did get the other things taken care of for you, so y’all should be set up.” She rubs her hands together.


  “Where is said house? Close by?”

  “Over by One and Thayer. Our lots adjoin, not too close because there’s plenty of property.” He gives me his lopsided grin. I love it.

  “Were you going to invite me to see it?”

  “Ding, ding, ding. There you go, girl.” Lea high-five’s me. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell you.”

  “First off, she didn’t ask. Second”—I cross my arms—“I feel as though there’s no winning here.”

  “Not at all.” Lea and I laugh.

  “Come on, I need to get you home.” His eyes snap to mine, and a warmth spreads through my chest. “Or my home. I mean, our home. The house. Let’s go to the house.”

  Chord gives up, brushing past Lea as she chuckles. “I love it. I’ve never seen him so nervous.”

  “He’s painstakingly easing into everything we do.” I sigh.

  Lea’s brow cocks. “And you’re not sure which you want him to do. Take it slow or full steam ahead.”

  “Am I that obvious?” I wrinkle my nose.

  She shakes her head. “No, not really. I own a t-shirt from living there with One.”

  “Thank fuck, I was beginning to worry.” I blow out an exaggerated breath. “One minute, I’m thinking we have plenty of time and the next, I’m afraid we’ve wasted enough time.”

  “What’s your heart tell you?” she asks.

  “Walk your ass to the edge and take a leap. It’s the love of your life, don’t hold back.”

  “Here’s the thing, we tend to listen to our heads and that’s good. Sometimes our hearts need so much love, we’re ready to get it anywhere. So we fool ourselves into believing this is it.

  “Our heads, on the other hand, think rationally. It’s too soon, too fast, or not the right time. The thing is, we listen to it because people tell us it’s what’s right. But what they don’t say is we should do what’s right for us. It’s our happiness, why do rules apply?” She shrugs. “They wouldn’t for your child, so why do we apply them to ourselves?”

  I’m gob smacked. “Wow. You’re good.”

  “Oh hell, no I ain’t. I’ve lived, made mistakes, allowed others to dictate my life, and then I met One. How lucky are we? Two of the most intelligent, caring, kind hearted and fuckin’ sexy assed men are in love with us. High-five, girlfriend.” She throws her hand up, and I slap the hell out of it.

  “Well, I certainly can see why Chord thinks so much of you.”

  “He sleeps on a bed of lies, don’t believe a word the little shit says.” She winks at me with a giggle.

  “Did I hear my name?” Chord saunters toward us as we burst into a fit of laughter. “What?” He stands there, confused.

  “Nothing, sweetheart.” I pat his chest as One steps out from behind him.

  Lea giggles. “Damn, you’ve got the hang of this already.”

  “One, you better get your woman. I think she’s been filling mine full of lies.” Chord narrows his eyes at Lea.

  “Yeah, I’m right on top of that.” One slides his arm around Lea, dragging her to him. He leans in, teasing her lips before taking them hard. He releases her, and I swear she swoons. And so do I.

  “There you go, you tell her.” Chord pats One on the back.

  “You keep kissin’ me like that, I might consider having another baby.” Lea’s eyes smolder as One’s nostrils flare. Damn, their attraction is palpable.

  “In that case”—he turns to the room—“let’s wrap this shindig up, people.” We laugh so hard, I can’t breathe.

  “Seriously, he’s a mess.” Lea play slaps One on the arm. “We do need to get our bunch to bed.”

  “One, where’s your whistle?” Chord ducks One’s punch.

  “Keep it up and I’ll tell them what you agreed to earlier.” One shakes his finger at him.

  “Alright, boys. That’s enough for today.” Lea wraps her arms around One. “By the way, you never picked out bedding for the bedrooms, just the master. You might want to grab some.”

  “Okay, thanks, my love.” Chord kisses her on the cheek.

  “Get the fuck off, you’ve got your own. Put those chicken lips on her.” One jabs Chord a few times.

  He shakes his head with his mouth turned down. “She won’t let me.”

  I raise my brows. “Won’t let you what?”

  “Put my chicken lips on you.” He puckers his lips out, coming at me.

  I throw my hands in the air, holding him off. “Arghh, no.” Chord takes me in his arms, and I begin to tremble. He searches my eyes, then releases me.

  “Not yet,” he murmurs. “Soon and I won’t ask.”

  My feet hit the ground, but I still feel as though I’m levitating. “Well, just tease a girl, why don’tcha.”

  “They want us to work for it, Sarah. Don’t do it, take control,” Lea mutters as she gazes into One’s eyes. “Oh, to hell with it. You’re on your own.”

  “See y’all tomorrow.” One grins as he fist bumps Chord. Chord glances at me, a grin plastered on his face.

  “Was I right? Lea’s amazing, just what he needed.”

  “They’re so in love.” Chills race over me.

  “Let’s head out.” Chord takes my hand. “I can’t wait for you to see the place. We also need to stop at the store and grab a few things.”

  “Sounds good, if we can pry our child from your parents’ arms.”

  We gaze at his family, each taking turns to say goodbye to Silas. Heat radiates through my chest as I witness the love my son is receiving, unconditionally. Come to think of it, this family has always given their love freely.

  “What are you thinking about?” Chord cozies up next to me.

  I swipe the tear from my face. “This family. The incredible love y’all give and the fact I have it in spades. I’ve never thanked you for loving me all this time.”

  “Yes you did.” He takes my hand in his. “When you told me you loved me and when you gave me him.”

  “When I loved you?” I cock my head.

  He bites his lip. “Are you saying you love me?”

  “I’m saying we’ll discuss it later.”

  Silas runs up to us. “Momma, are we going home?”

  “We are, you ready?”

  He nods. “Yep, I’m hungry too.”

  “Well, come on and we’ll go grab some food and supplies.” Chord takes his hand and leads him toward the front door.

  Elise and Cal walk us to the door. I don’t think they want Silas to leave. Us, not so much. They’re already doting grandparents, Silas is so blessed. They make plans for later in the week, hugging him again as we leave.

  Chord pulls out of his parents’ gates, turning right. “Store first, food after?”

  “Sure.” I shrug. “Silas, what do you want to eat?”

  “Pizza!” he yells from the back seat.

  I open my purse, hoping to be discreet, I count my cash while in the wallet. Two hundred and fifty, but I’ll need groceries when we go back. I’ll need to watch what we spend, but pizza is doable.

  Chord’s eyes dart to me. “What are you doing?”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be driving? You have a terrible habit of not watching the road,” I admonish him, trying to distract him.

  “You’re not spending your money, period.” He scowls.

  “I’m not here to take your money.”

  A light catches us, and as he stops, he turns on me. “You’re not taking my money. I invited you here, I want to take care of you for once.”

  “Like a vacation?” I tilt my head, pissing him off even more.

  His jaw sets. “Is that how you feel? This is a visit, a vacation.”

  “I’m used to planning and budgeting, that’s all I was doing.” I lie, there’s no way I can tell him what my heart is hammering about.

  Things are quiet as we walk into the big box store. Chord takes a deep breath, ready for a fight. “I’m not sure what his favorites are, can you please help me?”

  “I’ll help you
, Chord.” Silas is his saving grace, I agree because of him.

  “Yes, we’ll help, and I’ll give little resistance.”

  He quirks his brow. “I think I’d forgotten how stubborn you can be, and I think I like it.”

  “Remember that feeling when we checkout.” I raise my brows with a smirk.

  Chord grabs a cart, shaking his head. “Silas, let’s go find some sheets.” They walk ahead of me, and I watch as they talk. They play and joke all the way through the store.

  “That’s it.” Silas is hugging the bedding before Chord can get it off the shelf. Chord grins, picking at him.

  “You’re positive this is the one you want? They have Wonder Woman or even Spiderman.” Silas’ brows pucker as he shakes his head.

  “No, I want this one.” He tugs at it.

  “Dude, they have Batman too.” Chord places the package in the cart.

  Silas’ head whips around, giving me his boyish grin. I glance at Chord, he’s also wearing his. I roll my eyes. “It’s a lost cause.”

  “What is?” Chord’s brows knit.

  “You two. I’ll never win another argument.”

  “I didn’t know we were arguing.” He bumps my shoulder with his.

  “I’m not use to having help, and I didn’t come here for you to do everything for us, Chord. I’ve always paid our way.”

  He licks his lips and everything south of my naval screams. “I know you didn’t, you’ve never been that kind of person. But neither have I, why should you pay for things I invited you to do?”

  “It’s what I know, how I do things.” I fold my arms.

  He stops, staring at me. “How about if you suggest it or it’s a quick ‘we need this’, you pay for it. The bedding and supplies for the house, I get because I’ll need most of it anyway.”

  “I can agree to that.”

  “Look at us, adulting and shit.” Chord pushes the cart into me with a smile.

  “You seriously need to learn to drive, you’re all over the road.”

  “I keep getting distracted by beautiful women.” There it is, the spark that’s always made problems for me.

  “Well, you need to tell them your old girlfriend is here and they need to stop until she leaves.” I walk away, glancing at him over my shoulder. He stands there, his jaw set. My belly knots, maybe that was a low blow.